(this is the eulogy I gave at Mum's funeral today)
Dad was concerned, given my working background as a consultant, that this would turn into a sales presentation and I've agreed to give up the comfort of my PowerPoint slides to reassure him. However one thing I have learned is that you have you get your message in up front before the attention starts to wander, so here is my pitch -- Mum lived a full life as a professional, wife, mother, grandmother and friend. She was loved by so many and has left an lasting impression on us all. Such a well lived life is worthy of celebration and that is why we are here today.
Since my return from Australia a few days ago I have been struck by the strong sense of friendship that Mum and Dad engendered in those around them. More than her talents as a hostess, people appreciated her wit and strength of character. I hope that many of you will have the chance to share your recollections with Dad and me. I'd like to share some reminiscences from us both about our experience of her life. I hope they illustrate aspects of her character
Mum was born in Cornwall in 1932 when life was harder than most people of my generation can understand. Despite this, and with the support of her parents, she completed grammar school education and went onto nursing school in Plymouth -- a city of varied possibilities with many young navel officers. However there were curfews and bed checks in place at the student residence. On more than one occasion Mum was nearly caught sneaking back in late -- despite stuffing her bed with pillows to make a sleeping dummy.
After qualifying, her first job was as a district nurse going around Truro on a large heavy bicycle. She made a memorable impression one day when charging down and hill and turning right into the middle of the Armistice parade. This love of driving fast never really left her and she really should have been caught speeding across Europe and the US, but only the British police were lucky enough to catch her. If I had ever lent her the keys to my car in Australia when she came out it would be three continents I have no doubt. I am pleased to report that all her penalty points are now spent and she moves on with a clean licence.
After marrying Dad and moving to the Midlands she helped him with his extensive studies and then “encouraged” him to move into the private sector, which proved to be a brilliant move for them both.
Like most children I completely failed to appreciate Mum's hard work and commitment as mother. She spent a lot of effort helping me with my Dyslexia as well as the nitty gritty of homework, washing uniforms, making costumes and the 1001 jobs parents do for their kids. Much of this done alone as Dad was travelling continually on the Concorde project. One night she nearly stabbed a close family friend with dressmaking shears who turned up at the house a day earlier than planned – fortunately Dick survived and is sitting with us today.
Thanks to Concorde we all moved to France in the late 60's and Rita quickly dusted off her grammar school French and supplemented it with local patois. We enjoyed a a great new diet as she quickly adopted the local cuisine as well. Many hungry and thirsty Concorde engineers also came to appreciate her skills as a hostess delivering great southern French meals during many memorable evenings.
On coming back to the UK Mum was thrust back into the workforce when she volunteered to help at the local hospital during a flu epidemic and was promptly put on the payroll as a staff nurse. She later spend many years in the local area as a district nurse. Two of my close friends here today both had grandmothers who were under her care. She later moved into occupational nursing.
After I moved to the Middle East Mum and Dad spent a couple of years in Los Angeles and they came out to Bahrain when Marilyn and I got married. She has also travelled around India, Norway, Canada, Australia and Spain as well as her US travels.
Twenty years we ago we all returned to Britain and the road between Maidstone and Ilford became well travelled, even more so after the birth of our son Jack. Both Mum and Dad dotted on him and he spend many happy weekends in Maidstone making mud pies. She also managed to fit in recovery from a very serious illness.
In the late nineties Marilyn and I had the opportunity to move to Australia, and despite the pain it must have caused her, she encouraged us to take the opportunity and leave the UK. Happily she has visited us on numerous occasions since and it deeply loved by Lisa and Jack.
During fifty five of marriage Mum supported Dad through his various illnesses and spend many long hours waiting during the operations. Without her loving care Dad would not be here with us today.
Mum has also made significant contributions to the community (besides her professional responsibilities) including starting a local Derby and Joan club, fund raising for for Diabetic association and Kent Association for the blind. Her social activities included the Local Tory Ladies Lunch club, organising coffee mornings for her old classmates in Cornwall and being active in the Boxley village social scene. She was also active in the Church and Susan and her team often wear vestments that Mum helped sew.
She remained active right until here death: and in the last three days of her life she drove back from Calais; chaired a meeting; and attended a party. Whilst Mum's death was unexpected we are grateful that she was able to lead a full life to the very end and suffered little.
